I’m brewing coffee so strong right now I can taste it from just the fumes. I’m sore, my nose is plugged, and somewhere last night I walked into a den of no see ums that attacked every square inch of my ankles . All I want to do is crash on the couch and watch old Tom Hanks Movies with a big bag of Cheetoes.
Unfortunately that’s not what I’m supposed to do today. It’s T minus 4 days until we finally move into the new house. Less than a week until I won’t get to look out over Louis Vuitton, or hear late night partiers come home at 3:00 in the morning. Only a few days until peace. But between now and then there are a million things to do – like installing recessed lighting in the master bathroom.
As I sit on the couch this sunday morning reading my latest Tweets (Check out elfo_elpepe who is following me now, and his incredible website), I can count three reasons that each cause one of my symptoms. Of course it could be that I have some rare tropical form of cancer, or that our house causes some kind of unusal sickness, but using my scientific training, I’m pretty sure there are more reasonable reasons.
Symtom #1: I’m sore. Preparing a house is hard work. So is professionally photographing a wedding. Climbing up and down ladders, holding a gallon of paint in your left hand while cutting a ceiling with your right hand, moving and removing carpets, and of course carrying high-end camera gear is hard. Bending over, squatting down, and getting all those creative angles without disturbing the subject and changing the scene is tough. Today I feel 38 years old. I guess I probably shouldn’t complain. Grandma will be 103 in a few months, and she still has most of her teeth.
Symptom #2: My nose is plugged. Will these Austin Allergies ever cease? Pecan, Mold, Cedar, Oak, Hackberry (?). Hackberry is that little red berry that makes you cough and hack up a lung. I’m convinced that Al Gore is right, and global warming is causing all these pollen producers to inflame my sinuses well into late spring.
Symptom #3 – Itchy Ankles. Time to break out the costco sized bottle of Calamine lotion and use a paint roller to cover the skin between my knees and toes with a heavy coat of the pink itch reducing remedy. First I might use some 120 grit sandpaper to take off some of the high spots that itch so much. Thankfully, all the paint prep supplies and painting equipment can be recycled to be used in a medical way.
I can understand how mornings like this make someone want to pour equal amounts Folgers and Bourbon into a mug, and shut all the blinds.
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